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Coops, re: biological imperatives. We’re seeing a positive-affect movement emerging from evo psych that is concerned with what really makes people happy. There is a so-called “emotional command system” in the brain that contains neural circuits which are associated with various emotional experiences and displays—if you were to electrically stimulate, say, the RAGE circuit in rat’s brain then that rat would actually display violent anger. I think that an understanding of these circuits—allowing for individual variations in sensitivity, of course—could lead to a more psychologically satisfying existence, as one could be more precise in crafting the right “brain nourishment environment” around oneself.
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For instance, I feel that I’m not specifically wired for either STRs or LTRs per se, but I have dopamine-mediated psychological requirements that would generally not be satisfied by a conventional LTR. As a result, my past romantic history looks like a volatile landscape of churning, high-N accumulation casual periods punctuated by LTRs that tend to begin and end with some inevitable and perhaps unfortunate “plate-spinning” at the boundary transitions between the two mating regimes.
I realize that if I am to feel satisfied, to not have buyer’s remorse-type regrets, to not become dangerous to myself/others, I personally need an LTR structure that somehow maintains the emotional and sexual dynamics of courtship. I guess one could say that this makes me an “asshat” by some HUS definitions, but I’ve made peace with this because asshats like me are the ones that Uncle Sam gets to jump out of airplanes or dive under ships at night, and HNW clients seeking alternative investment exposure can get to trade futures accounts for them and count on to make money when others are being destroyed.
Much of my romantic efforts are now directed towards figuring out how to build an LTR with repeated pulses of STR dopamine kick. Others may not have the same needs.
If you haven’t had a chance, you might take the online Helen Fisher “mating types” quiz and see where you fall within her little matrix. It’s an imprecise, quasi-scientific tool, but I think it can have great explanatory power that MBTI may occasionally obfuscate.
